1. |
We Need a Little Cryptid
02:22
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Put out some honey!
Sweet cream, warm bread to tempt a tiny friend
Clear out a cupboard!
Some fear the fae but I say come again now!
For we need a little cryptid right this very minute
Brownies in the window, fair folk at the spinet
Yes, we need a little cryptid right this very minute
Normal company has gotten old; I don’t even need a pot of gold
Cast out the iron!
Get the Teflon pans endorsed by Emeril
Don’t leave them doll clothes
They’ll be hurt and make their stay ephemeral now
For these years have felt like decades; I’ve grown a little weary
So never mind zoologists who don’t accept my theories
I know the truth is out there; believing makes me cheery
I need a little cryptid now
Put out some honey!
Try to tempt a friend who’s really mystical
Roll out the carpet!
We can pander if it’s egotistical now
For we need a little music, not a long polemic
Need a break from problems that are awfully systemic
Who cares that it’s implausible and hardly academic
We need a little cryptid now
Yes, we need a little cryptid right this very minute
Brownies in the window, fair folk at the spinet
Yes, we need a little cryptid right this very minute
We need a little cryptid now!
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2. |
Sliver Cats
02:22
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In the pine woods, very fine woods
Festive trees stand around
In the air there's a feeling of cryptids
Take no chances, check the branches
Though you don't hear a sound
'Cause they'll get you with their spiky tails
Sliver cats, sliver cats
It's cryptid-time in the forest
Ring-a-ling, see them cling
Soon it will be Cryptid Day
Careless campers toting hampers
Full of picnic supplies
Shouldn't wander around, all unknowing
They're like drop bears, but they're not bears
And they have bright red eyes
And they watch as the people draw near...
Sliver cats, sliver cats
It's cryptid-time in the forest
Ring-a-ling, watch them spring
Soon it will be Cryptid Day
Sliver cats, sliver cats
It's cryptid-time in the forest
Ring-a-ling, see them cling (watch them spring)
Soon it will be Cryptid Day
Soon it will be Cryptid Day
Soon it will be Cryptid Day
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3. |
A Festive Interlude
01:12
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Over the river and through the woods
To Grandmother's house we go.
The horse knows the way to carry the sleigh
Through white and drifted snow.
Over the river and through the woods,
Oh, how the wind does blow.
It stings the toes and bites the nose
As over the ground we go.
Over the river and through the woods
To have a full day of play.
Oh, hear the bells ringing ting-a-ling-ling,
For it is Cryptid Day.
Over the river and through the woods,
Trot fast my dapple gray;
Spring over the ground just like a hound,
For this is Cryptid—
Sliver cats, sliver cats
It's cryptid-time in the forest
Ring-a-ling, see them cling (watch them spring)
Cryptids are having their day
Cryptids are having their day
Cryptids are having their day
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4. |
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Hi, Santa, I've been a little bit bad
And a little bit good, it's true.
I know you're always keeping track
So I can't keep that from you
I know you only give the gifts
You think it's right to bestow, sir
So Santa I can only ask,
Can I have a flamethrower?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
If a bunch of snowmen went on attack
I could melt them all away
If a Christmas pudding turned evil
I could make it go flambé
I guess I could also clear some weeds
But that seems like a bore
But if the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man attacked
I could turn it into a s'more
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
So Santa won't you hear my plea
I haven't been all bad
And getting a flamethrower
Would make me really glad
I know I'll find it Christmas morn
'Cause it's my heart's desire
And the reason for the season
Is to build a holy fire
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Don’t want a power mower
I just want a flamethrower
Way better than a leaf blower
Nothing like a flamethrower
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
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5. |
White Cryptid
02:38
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I’m dreaming of a white cryptid,
Just like the ones I used to know.
In the mountain passes,
You don't need glasses,
To see the footprints in the snow.
I’m dreaming of a white cryptid,
Perhaps eight feet or more in height.
May your days be merry and bright,
May you see a cryptid tonight.
I’m dreaming of a white cryptid,
Though skeptics doubt it, wait and see!
We’ll make confetti,
And look for yeti
I know it’s waiting, just for me.
I’m dreaming of a white cryptid,
With every cryptid card I write.
May your days be merry and bright,
And to all the cryptids: good night.
May your days be merry and bright,
And to all the cryptids: good night.
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Sunday Comes Afterwards Jersey City, New Jersey
Stevonnie Ross (they/them) is yet another geeky, ukulele-playing, folk/pop singer/songwriter.
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