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Zoom Christmas
02:05
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I'll have a Zoom Christmas this season
I'll be so blue, and Covid's the reason
Though your background displays 30 Rock's Christmas tree
It won't be the same dear, if you're on my PC
And when those Zoom windows start closing
That's when I'll doomscroll, I'm supposing
Though it's all fun and games when we're playing Codenames
Still, I'll have a blue, blue, blue Zoom Christmas
When the image has froze looking up grandpa's nose
Then I'll have a blue, blue, blue Zoom Christmas
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Have a social-distanced Christmas
Try to balance dread and cheer
Wear a mask when you do your tasks
And keep away the fear
Have a social-distanced Christmas
And when you walk down the streets
Be sure to stay six feet away
From everyone you meet
Oh, no, the mistletoe
Who hung it? That's outrageous!
Don't kiss the person underneath
'Cause they might be contagious
Have a social-distanced Christmas
And in case it isn't clear
My insistence: have a social-distanced
Christmas this year!
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Chestnuts roasting on a blacktop road
Jack Frost nowhere to be found
All of this weather seems to forbode
A climate change that's quite profound
Everybody knows the overuse of fossil fuels
Help to make the season stifling
Sweaty tots with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight
They know that Santa's sleigh can't fly
When the temperature feels more like it's July
And the older kids might very well suppose
That he's lighting stogies off of Rudolph's nose
And so I'm offering this simple phrase
For kids from one to ninety-two
Although it's been said many times, many ways,
Merry Christmas...we're screwed!
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4. |
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Oy yoy yoy yoy yoy
Oy yoy yoy yoy yoy
Oy yoy yoy yoy yoy
Oy yoy yoy yoy yoy
Oy yoy yoy yoy yoy
Oy yoy yoy yoy yoy
Oy yoy yoy yoy
Oy yoy yoy
Oy yoy yoy yoy yoy
Oy yoy yoy!
Oy yoy yoy!
Oy yoy yoy, yoy doy!
Oy yoy yoy
Ya doy da doy
Ya da da da da doy...
Oy yoy yoy!
Oy yoy yoy!
Oy yoy yoy, yoy doy!
Oy yoy yoy
Ya doy da doy
Ya da da da da doy
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5. |
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I'll stay home for Christmas
But I'd rather go
To ski and sport at a resort
And frolic in the snow
I'll stay home for Christmas
It doesn't bring me cheer
But I'll stay home for Christmas
It's where I've stayed all year
I'll stay home for Christmas
'Cause Fauci says I must
And he's about the only public
Figure that I trust
I really hope by next year
We all have our vaccines
And I'll leave home for Christmas
Not only in my dreams
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Sunday Comes Afterwards Jersey City, New Jersey
Stevonnie Ross (they/them) is yet another geeky, ukulele-playing, folk/pop singer/songwriter.
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