My sister Erin (long story; she's my sister in my heart, anyway) took to Facebook last year to report that her six-year-old son had written a letter to Santa. It read—and I quote—"Hi santa I hav ben a litoll bit bad and a litoll bit good. Can I hav a Flamthrore."
Naturally, I was charmed and inspired. I immediately wrote this song, recorded a quick-and-dirty version with the ukulele, and sent it to Erin for her amusement. That was all it was originally meant for!
Except...it was actually kind of good? And I couldn't stop humming it? So I asked if I could share it with the world, and here we are.
lyrics
Hi, Santa, I've been a little bit bad
And a little bit good, it's true.
I know you're always keeping track
So I can't keep that from you
I know you only give the gifts
You think it's right to bestow, sir
So Santa I can only ask,
Can I have a flamethrower?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
If a bunch of snowmen went on attack
I could melt them all away
If a Christmas pudding turned evil
I could make it go flambé
I guess I could also clear some weeds
But that seems like a bore
But if the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man attacked
I could turn it into a s'more
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
So Santa won't you hear my plea
I haven't been all bad
And getting a flamethrower
Would make me really glad
I know I'll find it Christmas morn
'Cause it's my heart's desire
And the reason for the season
Is to build a holy fire
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Don’t want a power mower
I just want a flamethrower
Way better than a leaf blower
Nothing like a flamethrower
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
My favorite track is probably "Jerkbrain," but this album has a lot of...well...relatable content. (And they also have a buffalo-themed song!) Sunday Comes Afterwards
If you like soothing folk, the whole Growth series is for you. (My favorite track on this one is probably "Train from Everywhere.") Sunday Comes Afterwards