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Santa, Can I Have a Flamethrower for Christmas?

from We Need a Little Cryptid by Sunday Comes Afterwards

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about

This song was never meant for the general public.

My sister Erin (long story; she's my sister in my heart, anyway) took to Facebook last year to report that her six-year-old son had written a letter to Santa. It read—and I quote—"Hi santa I hav ben a litoll bit bad and a litoll bit good. Can I hav a Flamthrore."

Naturally, I was charmed and inspired. I immediately wrote this song, recorded a quick-and-dirty version with the ukulele, and sent it to Erin for her amusement. That was all it was originally meant for!

Except...it was actually kind of good? And I couldn't stop humming it? So I asked if I could share it with the world, and here we are.

lyrics

Hi, Santa, I've been a little bit bad
And a little bit good, it's true.
I know you're always keeping track
So I can't keep that from you

I know you only give the gifts
You think it's right to bestow, sir
So Santa I can only ask,
Can I have a flamethrower?

Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?

If a bunch of snowmen went on attack
I could melt them all away
If a Christmas pudding turned evil
I could make it go flambé

I guess I could also clear some weeds
But that seems like a bore
But if the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man attacked
I could turn it into a s'more

Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?

So Santa won't you hear my plea
I haven't been all bad
And getting a flamethrower
Would make me really glad

I know I'll find it Christmas morn
'Cause it's my heart's desire
And the reason for the season
Is to build a holy fire

Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?

Don’t want a power mower
I just want a flamethrower
Way better than a leaf blower
Nothing like a flamethrower

Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?
Santa, can I have a flamethrower for Christmas?

credits

from We Need a Little Cryptid, released December 2, 2022
Inspired by a letter from Adam M.

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Sunday Comes Afterwards Jersey City, New Jersey

Stevonnie Ross (they/them) is yet another geeky, ukulele-playing, folk/pop singer/songwriter.

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